I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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