i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
whose parrot is this?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
