I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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