i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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