my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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