I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
