I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
