Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
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he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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