Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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