i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
