Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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