Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize