I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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