Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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