i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
