If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
