actually, I'm a sock model
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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