doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
