Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
