Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
