I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
