so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just pee around me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
