Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I cockslap morals
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
