I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
