Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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