I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
