If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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