she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
