those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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