Christians are straight up FREAKS
You work out of a Hotel?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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