We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
