everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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