I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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