I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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