grandma shit on top of the toilet
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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