I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The uberlube is also flammable
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm like, not good at living.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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