just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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