I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Intervention is following me on twitter.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”