Sorry, I don't speak sober.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize