she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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