She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize