If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
