got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."