Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal