Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
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Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted