Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling