Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
