p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
