What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
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Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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