The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
