ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
