this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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