dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ugly people sure do ruin things
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
