Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
