his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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