Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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