Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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