Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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