so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
