he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
