Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
