I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
