i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
