Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
