You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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