Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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