Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
