I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
