Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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