he shaved USA in his pubs
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
